This morning started off poorly. Like a lot of mornings have, as of late. I wake up, and I start counting. I have always done this on weekdays. I don't want to get up to do whatever I have to do (go to work), so when I wake up, I start counting. I'll tell myself, "count to 21, then get up." Or, "count to 30, then get up". Or, "count to 44, then get up." Those are usually the three numbers I will count to. 21 because it's my birthday, 30 because I used to enjoy MTV, and 44 because that was my number in high school, on the baseball team. It's like an extended snooze, but self-imposed.
Like I said, I've done this for a while. At least a few years. That's not the problem. The problem is, recently I've been counting up to much larger numbers. I almost hit 100 this morning, after a string of other, smaller numbers. I just haven't been as able- or willing, I should say- to get up.
It'll pass. It's gonna get better, it'll just take a while. And that is absolutely fine, and very normal. People who love me tell me this. More than that- after it gets better, it'll get great. Sunrises like this assure me.
