Almost Persuaded

First it was lots of drawing, movies and just plain "pretending" (cops and robbers was the shit!). Then it was bikes. And driveway basketball. Astronauts, NASA, and all things space-related. Then skateboards. Then bikes again. After that, it was weight-lifting. Then some more bikes and some more skateboards. Those two are probably never going away. And then it was music. Now, specifically, it's records. It is a fortunate thing that great records can be cheaply purchased. Money and trees and all of that.

 Once I become obsessed with something, that's it. My mom always told me, "Never get into hard drugs, Caveman. You'd be dead in a week."

I got David Houston's Almost Persuaded  on record today. I'm sure you had a great day too, and I want to hear all about it tomorrow. Really. But my day was better because I got David Houston's Almost Persuaded on record today. I mean it's not a big deal, or anything. Be cool about it.

Therapeutic.

Of course, this model is of one of the larger units. The available unit is smaller. But the basic features are the same. And here... is the bathroom. Now, the smaller ones do not have the grand soaking tubs, but then- you do not really need a soaking tub, do you?

I laughed a little (it felt appropriate). "No, of course not." Stock response.

Not what I meant to say at all, and I hated myself for saying it. Definitely not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was:



Actually, yes. I would very much like an oversized soaking tub. My greatest and richest fantasies revolve around a large soaking tub. Not an attempt at being crude- I just really enjoy a long, hot bath once in a while. It's really relaxing. And fun. For me. Honestly.

I wish you wouldn't pretend to know what I need. You don't know me- you are a stranger. I shouldn't even be talking to you.

Why shouldn't I be interested in a soaking tub? Because I'm young? Haven't earned it? Will I have earned it by the time I am forty? Will I be able to successfully climb in and out of one at that age?

Is it because I'm single? Low blow. Fuck you, lady.

Throw. It. Back.

Wise dude. But it's hard, sometimes. You know-  not to skate slow.

Look, it's not about the hit-points right now. I'm just trying to work on my swordsmanship.

Just Like a Dream

Keep an eye out for a puppet in a Deep Wound t-shirt. Also, crank dat or you're wasting your time.

Attack Mode

Ants. Uncles. Anniversaries.

On wax, for a few bucks. Memories. Drunken mistakes. Oh fucking well.

Catalytic Conversion

Seabass. Boilermakers. Petey. Big Gulps. I.O.U's. Those are as good as money. Tea and strumpets. Samsonite. Don't you go dying on me! Gas man. Worm farms. It feels like you're running at an incredible rate. He got off scot-free? No- they caught up to him a mile up the road and slit his throat. It was a good one. Those your skis? Both of em? Traded the van for it. Straight up. Been doing a little bit of boozing, have ya? We landed on the moon! Rhode Island Slut. Your hands are freezing! Got a little nippy going through the pass, huh? Just go, man. Oh...that's warm. Well come on, Cinderella, we gotta get you ready for the ball! Tell her I'm smart, and funny, and that I have a rapist's wit. Well who meets for a date at a bar at 10:30 in the morning? I just figured she was a raging alcoholic. One in a million. So you're telling me there's a chance! Sounds like a dare, Harry. It's a double-dare. That's a nice set of hooters you got there. I beg your pardon? You know, the owls. Man, this party really died.