Lonely Lyle.

But he still has his arms. He still has his legs. 

Nowhere to walk to, though. And nothing to hold.

Lacking Restraint

These things are absolutely functional. Unscrew the caps and fill. Your condiments will shoot out of the nips. I might ask the Bird to start holding my wallet.

I. Love. My. Apartment. So. Fucking. Much.


The nail polish was meticulously selected and applied by Shelley. It's called Cajun Shrimp.

Circle Twerks

Photos by Don Jon and that Strange Bird. Good times had by all.

Argento

Today at work Kyle almost drove the forklift into a workstation by the VTL (vertical turning lathe). I say almost because he stopped more than eight inches away from it, and hit nothing.

But he was surprised he came that close. Me too, a little. Closest he's come to making a mistake in a long time. Dude just doesn't slip, ever.

So he takes a breath (and chides himself in his head, I'm sure), and then he drives off. Grandpa was at the saw, about fifteen feet away. Of course he didn't see it, and like I said, there was nothing to see. But I walk over anyway, and go,

 "Kyle almost crashed the forklift, just now. He shouldn't drink so much while he's working, you know?"

Grandpa says, "Well...maybe he should drink a little more. Then he'd pass out and he wouldn't do that shit."

The amount of time that passed before he shot that response back to me was maybe one second.  Maybe half a second. Our grandfather is one of the quickest, most dry-witted men. He just barely ever opens his mouth, so not a lot of people know it. Which is, I think, a shame. Mom thinks so, too.

...but that's okay.

She said, "Must be the maid". Exactly when I said, "Must be the help."

Like, we both said the first three words at EXACTLY the same time, and she said maid at exactly the same time that I said help.

We both laughed. Then we just looked at each other. We have had plenty of moments like that, I'm sure. But that one stands out in my mind. I remember driving home from the bar that night and thinking, "What am I doing? At this point, this is just stupid."

It took a little bit of time after that, but eventually I just stopped being stupid and told her that I was pretty sure that I'd made a mistake.

Printed On Paper.

"There's this thing called the Internet. Maybe you've heard of it?"

Slovenly Recorded.

This ain't a runway! Nobody wants to see you strut your shit. Get on, get off!